This was the week I almost quit.
Luckily, it didn’t happen until right before my long run, so I only had to deal with this feeling for a few days. And, since this was over a week ago, I’m totally okay talking about this now.
This was a cut-back week, and I ended up taking a little bit more advantage of this because of parent/teacher conferences, report cards, and my dad’s 60th birthday bash.
Monday: off day
Tuesday: off day
Wednesday: 7 miles
Just a little run, not because I wanted to, but because I felt I had to. Looking back, I guess my “I quit” feelings started here.
Thursday: off day
Dad’s 60th birthday party
Friday: 5.35 miles
Really frustrated with this run. Was going for a trail but turned around after .25 miles when I realized it was all going to be a slushy, icy, snowy, muddy, wet mess of a run. I stuck to clear sidewalks instead.
Saturday: 16 miles
This is when it hit the fan; that “I quit” feeling. I was dreading this run…A) the trails were still a mess from the off and on storms we’ve had B) this was the 2nd long run in a row where I couldn’t hit the trails C) I felt guilty for not being gung-ho about toughing it out and trudging through the slush, icy, snow, mud, and wet messy trails D) I didn’t want to run city bike paths E) I felt guilty for not running much during the week F) I am so tired of running in the WIND G) I just wanted to stay home because working 75 minutes from home and training for a 50k was slowly catching up with me.
Trials of Miles, Miles of Trials…
This was also the day I actually/finally REGISTERED for the 50k. So, I think I was just overcome with a ton of stress on a ton of different levels. But, I ran anyway. Because I refused to give in. Did I cry during the run? You bet I did. Was it probably because I was listening to Country music? I’d like to think so. Did I cry in the shower after my run? Absolutely. Was it probably because I was listening to Country music in the bathroom? Absolutely not. No, seriously, I wasn’t listening to Country music then. A few hours later, I was over it.
Sunday: 7.4 miles
After a downer of a Saturday, I was feeling much more positive about my training and my choice to attempt a new distance. I actually saw a photo on IG, posted by Jay_Funkysocks, that said “Remember why you started!” As simple as it was, and as silly as it sounds, it was just what I needed at just the right time. I know that in the fall of 2011, I ran a marathon that inspired me to run a 50k. Circumstances prevented me from attempting that in 2012 and this is the right time for it. If I don’t do it now, I may never do it.
I’m halfway through training, and I’m not throwing in the towel. So, there…